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16yrvirgin
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 03-29-2006 Location: Des Moines, Iowa, USA
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posted on 04-07-2006 at 22:53 |
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hii
hey everyone
I am a sixteen year old male virgin. Today in society, its like everyone has to have sex. People who say they are virgin are often laughed at and told that they cant get any pussy or vice versa. In my opinion, i believe that is just unacceptable. What happend to our moral values? It seems like teenagers will have sex with their first boyfriend or girlfriend. At this age, you dont know what a relationship really is. And there is no one who really explains that to you until you go through it yourself. I am just surprised by all this sexuality going on. I am still a virgin not because I cant get pussy, but because I chose to be. I havnt found the right person and I want to save myself for that person- I am thinking I should wait till I marry. Loving does not necessarly has to involve sex. That warm feeling of being with that someone is good enough. Sex should just be used after marriage, only when you are serious about doing it with that person. I just wanted to share that and see what you think.
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-08-2006 at 08:15 |
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Some advice
The people who give you a hard time, deep down are jealous. They are jealous they don't have the self-control, and that they were weak and gave into peer pressure. Think about it: If you were really doing something wrong by choosing to wait, no one would get so bothered by your decision. It would get no reaction. BUT, because it gets people all worked-up, it is just PROOF you are making the right choice. It is also proof that they don't feel 100% right about having sex, and they need to protect themselves by getting angry at those who choose to wait.
The people having sex at 14 aren't happy. They're lives are empty, and they need sex to give their lives meaning. Deep down they feel bad but would never admit it because it's not cool to be different. I'd say, keep doing what you're doing. Even if people give you a hard time, they actually respect you.
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ax1csuchicoedu
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 05-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-16-2006 at 18:55 |
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u shouldn't have to feel pressured
virginity is something i believe is very special and precious. don't ever feel like u have to do it. share it with someone who u r in love with... not necessarily someone who u have to marry in the future...but..u know...someone special...don't waste ur virginity on just anyone
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SilentOne
Junior Member
Posts: 14
Registered: 05-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-17-2006 at 17:53 |
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Not Jealous
People who say these things are not necessarily jealous. The truth is that *sex feels good.* Sometimes people make these derogatory comments for two reasons, firstly they are trying to be funny because they find it cute that you haven't had sex yet. Secondly because they actually do care on some level and are trying to "push" you into making a decision you might enjoy. More often than not sex is an enjoyable experience and the truth is waiting until you are married can sometimes lead to problems. If you wait that long you might not know what you like or what you want, as well as not knowing very well how to please your mate. In the end it is a matter of personal decision but let me be the devils advocate and defend the position of those who are having sex. It is fun, it is enjoyable and after you've had sex a few times and are mature enough to accept that most people will before they are married there becomes little reason to not want to share the experience with whoever you might be with at the time.
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 05-17-2006 at 19:35 |
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Have to disagree
Sorry silentone, but there are major flaws, presumptions and inacuracies in your comments.
The trouble with sexual hedonism is that its thrills are not the same thrills as those one finds with commited sex or married sex. Sexual excess is rooted in pleasure after pleasure, but only pleasure. There's nothing beneath the pleasure except despair, since to the true hedonist "the moment" is all that matters. Outside pleasure, no hope, no truth, no love exist. The hedonist's pleasure is their sole hope, comfort, and 'psychic hiding place' from the reality of the meaninglessness of their existence. It is an addictive lie.
You should visit- http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/index.php
About 90% of the married couples on the site were BOTH virgins at marriage and they now have active and healthy sex lives. There are forums on masturbation, stripping, sex videos, the works. Virginity has nothing to do with your future married sex life.
Don't believe the lies that are shining (glaringly, might I add) through your above comments.
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SilentOne
Junior Member
Posts: 14
Registered: 05-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-17-2006 at 22:11 |
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Nice response although inaccurate and agenda based
There are actually no factual problems on the premises of my argument, afterall I do acknowledge personal opinion and almost every line uses words such as "Often, many times, etc." which does mark that there are exceptions (please re-read until you understand.) As you have stated your *personal opinion* is that all sex outside of marriage is based upon falsehood and lies and is "for the moment," when this is actually a false premise on your behalf. I have had long term relationships during which I have had regular sex, not just "for the moment" or just for the sake of "momentary pleasure" but because in fact I did believe that the relationship might progress and lead to marriage, in the end it did not but this was not because of issues related to our sexual activity. It is a fanciful dream to some people that in life protecting your virginity and innocence is the only righteous and correct way, but again this is simply opinion and has no real factual basis to it.
The facts that are known are the ones I have prompted in my previous post which are that sex is *generally enjoyable* and that problems *may* arise from being inexperienced with what you are dealing with. In response to your assertion of married couples that were virgins before marriage, I offer you this counter argument:
If these people were virgins prior to marriage, by what basis of comparisson do they have to unmarried sexual encounters?
If these people have only known each other sexually, is it not plausible to suggest they may therefore be more prone to sticking it out in a relationship with what they have known rather than what they have no experience with? (even if it has critical shortcomings)
"About 90% of the married couples on the site were BOTH virgins at marriage and they now have active and healthy sex lives."
- Is this to suggest that there are people who do not lead active and healthy sex lives without being virgins before marriage?
"Virginity has nothing to do with your future married sex life."
- Is this not exactly the point I was making in my previous post?
The sexual atmosphere of regular "dating" is uncomfortable to many people without experience in these areas, and religious beliefs often obscure the fact that we are indeed just animals and outside of being "bound to each other by god" we are designed to procreate and enjoy sexual activity. I am not deliberately gunning to put anyones personal beliefs down, because in the end it is about what works for you, but I do take offense when those of us who are sexually active are being looked upon as though we were "heathens" simply for taking steps that the rest of you haven't. Afterall it is entirely possible you can marry another virgin and still have your marriage fail, irrespective of your prior sexual experience.
I am by no means advocating that everyone drop what they are doing and decide to just start blatently having sexual encounters left and right and have said nothing to suggest this. To believe that what I have written are lies (incorrectly I might add) is to be making blanket assesments rather than reading the words for the way they are written. If you are going to accuse me of "lying" I would appreciate specific quotations and a far better argument than you have presented. Though I appreciate your response.
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